Confused

That consumes my mind now. I couldn't focus or think what so ever today. What did you mean when you said that? I'm confused with myself now. What am I supposed to do? I didn't know what to say? Am I supposed to act different? I hard to carry on as...

I need new friends

Honestly this is going to sound like the bitchiest thing you will ever hear so sorry, but I'm kind of being a bitch right now because I'm just really fed up. But okay here goes. I've never been good at making friends. Like honestly I have friends who...

That feeling...that feeling i felt years ago (REVISED)

  Hello everyone, i had to repost this old post because it was placed on the wrong blog, sorry for the revision   after all thats happened this past weekend really has put my mind in a lot of thinking, from how my future is gonna be to how my...

what am I doing..

Seriously... shoot me. There is this guy I am with and while I like him a lot. I mostly just keep him around as something to do! My parents hate him with a buring passion and if they found out we talked or hung out they qould most certainly kill me....

It's so hard.. :(

It's so hard to stay strong.. i feel like everyone is leavingo me. Or they don't care. Or they just ignore me. I feel so lost. Like where do I turn to? My BEST FRIEND or I thought she was seems to not want to be friends with me. I breaks my heart. It...

Endings

I have to finish a story today, but I can't seem to bring myself to finish it. I just don't like endings. I've never been able to cut the string of creativity in a coherent way, wrap my story up, and give it to my teacher on her birthday/deadline.  ...

I hate feeling tied down

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a month now (the 19th makes one month) and I mean I like him I guess but I don't really like him and I don't love him. I keep thinking I should break up with him but everyone would hate me in my circle of...

Happy thoughts trigger my hell.

So things have started to go down hill again. I've had a panic attack today and been sick twice. Basically I'm going on holiday to Africa tomorrow and I was so excited and it's going to be amazing (typical! happy thoughts seem to trigger my parnoia...

Kisses

I went over James' house the other day and we were watching movies and then out of know where, like I literally cannot recall how this even happened, we started making out. Why did I let that happen? We were getting really into it and I was so glad...

The Memory

She is everywhere I go, Everyone I see. Winter's gone and I still can't sleep. The summer's on the way, At least that's what they say. But still these clouds won't leave. Walk away. I'm barely breathing as I'm lying on the floor....

Will I ever be well again?

Will I even be well again? I hate being sick. I hate it so much. I had to stay home Thursday and Friday from school because my throat hurt too much and now it's Saturday and I almost feel worse! I'm starting to get a cough and runny nose. I don't know...

Virginity

Virginity, to lose or not to lose. That is the question. How do we know when the time is right to lose our virginity, and how do we know who to actually lose it with? As a teenager, losing your virginity is a very confusing thing. You want it to be...

New Blog!

Hey guys! I created this blog to tell you guys about my everyday life, and to know a little about me, but I also created it for another reason. I am actually a really good advice giver, lots f people always come to me with their problems, and I can...

Diabetic? Maybe, sorta not really.

About 2 years ago, I started having problems where I became excessivly thursty, urinated 24/7 and felt dizzy & drained if I did not eat between meals. I got blood work done and never heard anything from the doctor about it, which for them means...

beautiful nightmare

Help me control myself. Help me stop myself. It's so hard to control, the evil monster inside of me. It wants to hurt me. It wants to kill me. I can barely fight it. I can't win this fight, all by myself. I need control. ...

Our pasts shape our futures.

It amazes me how one person, who was only a part of my life for a short time, has influenced me and changed me as a person. It also amazes me how I only realized what a huge influence this person was after seeing a councilor and finally speaking to a...

Mission Impossible: Friendzoning a Guy

Enix. Holy crap.  Holy crap. Holy crap. Holy crap.   That was what was going on in my head when I found out. Or rather, when I realized the situation I was in... It sucked. It sucked to be me at all times. I guarantee it. But this time, it...

Happy Or Comfortable??

The biggest question I've had to ask myself.. I honestly don't know. I think I'm happy? You shouldn't feel worthless when you're happy though.. I might just be really comfortable. Or fell for the person I thought they were, or the moments we had.

Prom Confusion

So..I had prom on Saturday, and I went with a family friend who's insanely hot, but he's also really sweet. I didn't expect any sparks to fly or anything..but they kind of did. Really hard. We danced all night and we slow danced and he said a lot of...

Jealousy.

Jealousy is such a bitch.  I've been jealous of pretty much everyone my whole life. Being this insecure just sucks so much, especially when I walk around and pretend I'm really not. Being in a relatively big family, and the middle child has...

My heart vs. My mind

I've been depressed lately.. I've been remembering a lot of things, I should forget. I can't get certain images && faces out of my mind. Loving someone && loving yourself.. Balancing life, but knowing that everything happens for a...